I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
