Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How does one acquire holy water?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
