sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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