I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
