i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I am midnight drunk by noon
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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