dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
