there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
