I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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