I just threw up on my dentist
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
