ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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