if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
