i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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