I wanna bring you to show and tell
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
