Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
