everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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