i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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