I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
