Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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