Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
