Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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