she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
