You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize