i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
