garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is Oprah even human
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I think my moral compass just broke
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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