You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
