It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
