The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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