Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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