I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Quick, to the slutcave!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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