I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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