yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize