i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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