She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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