It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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