I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
