Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
