im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
