$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
