I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
