Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
