Your face is a jimmy john
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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