plz talk dirty to me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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