3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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