talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
