I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
