I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
