Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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