if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
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I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
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I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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