Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
