he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
