Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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