Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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