to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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