shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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