It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
