Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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