remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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