You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
