I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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