i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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