I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This is my gift to your gina
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
