Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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