the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize