so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
