at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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